Drive-Thru Banking Procedures
I feel it is my duty to share things that make me cry and howl with laughter. Enjoy!
A sign in the bank lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new drive-thru teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Put down your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve cash, card and reciept
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine
3. Set parking brake, put the window down
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to excessive distance from car
8. Insert card
9. Re-insert card the right way
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
11. Enter PIN
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
13. Enter amount of cash required
14. Check make-up in rear view mirror
15. Retrieve cash and reciept
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook
18. Re-check make-up
19. Drive forward 2 feet
20. Reverse back to cash machine
21. Retrieve card
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into slot
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off and hit big yellow pole
25. Redial person on cell phone and tell them you hit a big yellow pole
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
27. Release parking brake
A sign in the bank lobby reads: "Please note that this Bank is installing new drive-thru teller machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender."
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Put down your car window
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw
5. Retrieve cash, card and reciept
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine
3. Set parking brake, put the window down
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up
6. Attempt to insert card into machine
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to excessive distance from car
8. Insert card
9. Re-insert card the right way
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page
11. Enter PIN
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN
13. Enter amount of cash required
14. Check make-up in rear view mirror
15. Retrieve cash and reciept
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook
18. Re-check make-up
19. Drive forward 2 feet
20. Reverse back to cash machine
21. Retrieve card
22. Re-empty handbag, locate card holder, and place card into slot
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off and hit big yellow pole
25. Redial person on cell phone and tell them you hit a big yellow pole
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles
27. Release parking brake
posted by Ev(an) at
6:37 p.m.
4 Comments:
chauvinistic pig
By
Anonymous, at 10/11/2005 8:50 p.m.
Manda...what a mean-spirited comment after my horrible weekend. You're a bully, pure and simple (sobbing uncontrollably)
And calling people chauvinistic pigs just makes you an even bigger chauvinistic pig for saying so. (That term is rooted in Archie comics, dontcha know?)
By
Ev(an), at 10/11/2005 9:11 p.m.
hahaha I'm trying to toughen you up. You're a big softie and it's not good for you! I never said I wasn't a chauvinistic pig...I just called you one. haha What the heck..Archie comics?! Do tell...I bet this will be good.
By
Anonymous, at 10/11/2005 9:18 p.m.
Hey Ev, I thought that was pretty funny. (But then again, total typical Lance to think that's funny, eh?) Oh. BTW, I thought it was funny how you typed LMAO a few blogs back about that teacher thing. Who has corruppted you to the point where you can say 'ass'?
Albiet in short form and typed. I'm so proud of you Ev!!
By
Anonymous, at 10/12/2005 4:11 p.m.
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