"They're not smores; they're samosas!"

Thursday, February 17, 2005

Sports, sports, sports, sports...

You may be shocked by what I have to say: I've always wanted to be a sports journalist. I even thought about going to school in the States to pursue that dream. Anybody surprised by this revelation? I thought not. ;)

There's a couple of sporting items I want to comment on...

1. The Henry Burris Sweepstakes. Will he stay or will he go? Apparently, the Riders have offered him $300K to come back. The Calgary Stampeders have offered $400K. THIS IS RIDICULOUS. Burris is a very talented QB, no doubt. But what exactly has he done to merit this type of $$$? He's won a grand total of ONE playoff game. He has a losing record in the CFL. He played well for less than HALF of a season last year. I'd hate to see him leave because with him the Riders are more closer to a Grey Cup that ever before, but if it's going to cost the Riders $350K to keep him, then good riddance. The Riders can use that money to get stronger in a number of areas instead of just one. This isn't a life-or-death situation, as some message boards are proclaiming it to be. Sheesh.

2. NHL cancels the season. This doesn't really surprise me. I've been pessimistic about this whole situation from the get-go. What does surprise me is that after both sides stayed firm in their positions for months, they absolutely CAVE in the waning hours, and they still can't get a deal done! Both Gary Bettman and Bob Goodenow should lose their jobs, and here's why.

Let's start with Bettman. He's a weasel. I can't believe a single thing he says. When the players offered a salary cap of $49 million, he says that if each team spent that amount, they'd lose even more money than before. Uh...how many teams spend that much right now, Gary? 8 out of 32? Then he offers a last minute ultimatum to the players to accept the NHL's offer, or else the season is cancelled. The players have been upset at you for months, and you think they'll accept an ultimatum? Niiiiicccce.

Now Goodenow. What kind of union leader tells his members to go and take jobs from other leagues? That's insane. Also, if he was going to cave and accept a salary cap, then why not entertain that proposal a few months ago when it would have meant something?

The solution I'd like to see here is replacement players being used at the start of next season to really tick off the player's association, and no fans showing up, sticking it to the owners in the process!

Wake up call fellas...when you come back, all will not be well and good. You really have to win back the fans. The on-ice product will need some serious overhauls. The overall arena experience will have to be better. It will have to be affordable to go to a game again. If not, fans in non-traditional markets (and even traditional ones) will continue to stay away and jobs will be lost. The NHL will continue to slip down the priority lost for sports fans...it's bad when NASCAR is whupping you in the ratings.

The one bright side to the cancellation of the season? It's another year that the Maple Leafs fail to win the Stanley Cup!

3. On a lighter note...I recently strapped on my Flames jersey and my goalie pads and headed out to the rink on the lake by our house. Why am I stupid enough to play net, you ask? Well, I have flat feet and it hurts to skate. Hence, I'm the goalie. That, and I'm actually stupider than I lead on.

Anyway, Col and I scout out the lake and try to head out when the activity on the lake is at it's quietest: Sunday afternoon, just before supper. Still, there were a number of kids out there. Their eyes light up when they see someone stupid enough to play net approaching. They all line up to take shots on me, someone who hasn't been on ice for about a year and a half. One shot after another, from every angle, me getting up time after time again only to face constant bombardment from tennis balls, sponge pucks and one real puck, and me without a mask. (I'm old-school). I didn't know it was possible for your thighs to have a heartbeat...

Anyway, I like to be friendly with the kids and let them score on me a couple of times. You know, open up the fivehole a little bit wider and give them a target they can't possibly miss. But there's always a kid or two that manages to score EVERY TIME. Hey, I have an ego to maintain, you know. I try a little harder, and they still score...and they let me know about it constantly. That's when I get mad.........

This one punk comes in for a breakaway and lets a shot go. I make the stop, but let out a big rebound. He's all over the rebound, and goes top-shelf, where he's made a point of beating me all day. I reach back with the paddle of my goal stick and swat it away in mid-air! I let out a gigantic "WOOOOOO!" and wave my finger at him. It felt goooooooooood.

Redemption. Sweet redemption. I'll take small, meaningless victories anytime I can get them.

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