Noise Pollution

It was impossible to do anything at home today. Firstly, Colin's trying to get everything in order for his cross-Canada tour, of which he leaves tomorrow to pursue. Secondly, we have begun some home renovations. For those who have visited our place in the past, the gap looking down on the TV room downstairs is no more. In order for that to occur, a window had to be popped out, that area covered, and a temporary floor installed...all of it done LOUDLY. This in the midst of having a variety of home renovation experts filter in and out all day scoping our house for a future round of renovations added to the noise level and clogged up the driveway by extension. Balderdash! I'm glad I'm not handy whatsoever...when I'm ready to buy a house, it's going to be all ready to go from the start. Using your hands is for suckers. Why build up the sweat and grime when you could instead watch a close hockey game that makes you sweat and acquire grime (via chip crumbs) equally as much?

Needless to say, today was a bad day for concentrating on and writing my paper. However, that process is becoming more needless by the day, as I am almost done. Yes loyal readers, I have passed the 75 page plateau and intend to wrap up my conclusion and tie up loose ends by Monday at the latest. I sent my draft chapters to my supervisor, who much to my surprise thought they were thesis-worthy even as drafts! It turns out that I could be defending this thing in the next month or so. I've been looking forward to getting this thing out of my hands and to let somebody else worry about it for a change, as it will likely take a month for my committee to read the paper and find a defense date that works for all parties. In the meantime, I suppose I'll try and make some additional money at work and start sending out resumes in hopes of finding, at long last, a career.

I bought all 3 seasons of Arrested Development and the 1st season of Prison Break on Ebay, and I bought season 1 of the X-Files at the new Walmart today. I'm hoping the early episodes of the X-Files don't make me cringe as much as some of the later years did...but for $15, I thought it was worth the gamble. I'm looking to add Fawlty Towers, Mr. Bean, The Thin Blue Line and Curb Your Enthusiasm to my fledgling (and from the looks of it, highly British) box-set collection.

I had a "LOL" moment when I saw this last week. Good night and good luck.

The sea was angry that day, my friends...

The following account is how I survived the Great Blizzard of 2007. (CAUTION: parts of this tale may be too harrowing for some; discretion is advised)

SCENE: March 23, 2027 (Sunday?)
TIME: 5:45 PM (Supper not ready yet)
PLACE: Mansion overlooking Victoria B.C., where old people go to retire.
CAST: Patrick Stewart as Grandpa Evan, Evan's grandchildren (4), Evan's family (circa 2007), Kevin Federline as Colin, Vince Vaughn as Evan of 2007, Extra Foods management, Scott's Parables management, Bus Driver, Bus Children, Brendan Mierau, Jessica Alba as Mother Nature.

(Grandchildren gather around Evan, their grandfather, by the fireplace. Evan, remarkably sharp for his age, strokes his distinguished beard, reaches for his Sherlock Holmes-like pipe, and waxes philosophically on all things weather...which is what people his age do)

I awoke mid-morning (yes, mid) to a howl akin to that of a vacuum. However, I thought it sounded more obnoxious than usual. I was correct; it was instead the wailing wind of a blizzard. The last time I encountered a blizzard was back in the days of adolescence, back in Dalmeny. I remember that Brendan Mierau was my billet, and had to stay the night dans ie maison Richet because the buses were wusses and because his parents couldn't get into town. I remember having one heck of a pillow fight that night. Since then, I cannot recall a blizzard of that magnitude occurring. In fact, my more recent memories of blizzards are nothing but positive: delicious ice cream, a variety of toppings and at reasonable prices. That is, until January 10, 2007.

My car was in for maintenance on this day, as was my mother's. Dad took Colin to work that morning, as he had sold his car the week previous. Little did they know at the time that they would both be home early on a weekday for supper.

As the day progressed, so did the ferocity of the weather. My grandma, in her 70s, defied Mother Nature by going to work, insisting she's seen worse weather in her lifetime. Her workplace closed early, the employees going home at around noon. She made it home in decent time, thank goodness.

Mom and I were stranded at home, vehicularly challenged. I was supposed to work my last night shift that evening from 5-11, but thought I'd call my employer to see if I was really, really needed. Keep in mind that I work for a company that's open on Easter and Thanksgiving, so I was not optimistic. Sure enough when I called at 1:30, no decision had been made as to whether or not to close early. It appears as though upper management was in Calgary, oblivious to employee concerns and apparently devoid of any sort of media. "Typical", I exclaimed to nobody in particular. The manager that was was there offered to stay as late as it took to save me the drive across the city. The store closed around 7 after repeatedly badgering management to close up shop on the account of public safety and the glaring lack of customers, well after most businesses large and small did, and he didn't get out until after 9. What a wonderful, caring company I work for.

Dad left work before 2, but it took him forever to get down 8th street. He was wearing dress shoes, rendering him unable to push automobiles that were motionless in front of him. As he arrived in Briarwood, he called the house, asking me to bring out a pair of boots for him and a shovel so he could free up cars that were stuck a block or two from our house. I "volunteered" for this mission. I took the tags off of my newly minted winter jacket and took off into a scene eerily reminiscent of the Moors of Scotland. My mom saw my disappear into the blizzard as I left the driveway. I wandered aimlessly down the right hand side of the road, the sidewalk non-existent at the time. I saw some faint lights in the distance and struggled towards them. The first stuck vehicle had been freed as I approached, with my dad next in line. My dad's car has good winter tires, and he attempted to gain momentum toward the house. Of course, his car moves with ease just as I appear.

I am now charged with the task of trying to find my way back home. It's only a block or two away, but I have no idea where I am. The lights of the traffic disappear, the street names on the poles whited out. I head back to where I think home is, quite possibly down the middle of the road. All of a sudden, a yellow school bus emerges behind me and opens its door. All the children have been herded to the back of the bus. She says that bus policy dictates that she not take on regular passengers, but today she makes exceptions. We drive slowly for a good minute or two until I make out a "Brae" on a street pole, and I get let out. Thankfully, it was the correct "Brae" and I find the house.

Colin's employer closes up shop around 2, but remember he has no car. Normally Parables' wouldn't be a bad place to stay for the night, what with their cafe and music and all. Colin's boss offers him a ride home, seeing as though they live on the same side of the city. Better to have two heads than one on a day like this. Every path they attempt to take home is blocked off by traffic and by cops who are closing off bridges. They recount a scene similar to that of the after-effects of a nuclear bomb; cars abandoned in every direction. He returns home safely around 6pm, his boss achieving the same result about an hour later.

We later ate a delicious roast.

(Evan marshals the grandchildren to the dinner table, where he hopes that we would be having pot roast. To his chagrin, we are having fish)

FIN

George C. Scott in "Man being hit by football"

I have a headache...mind you, it's not near as painful as getting hit by in the face by a soccer ball or having a porch swing collapse whilst swinging, as compiled in humorous and efficient fashion as always by America's Funniest Home Videos.





I signed in with the intent of mentioning something in specific...I don't think this was the reason, but since I cannot remember the original point I wanted to make, I hope you enjoyed other people slightly injuring themselves!