1 through 9

1. I'm not surprised that Michael Jackson was found not guilty of the major charges against him. I am surprised he was acquitted of EVERYTHING. Well that's not quite true...I suppose he is still guilty of being a weirdo.

2. I thought a of title for a potential monarchy paper while the Queen was visiting Saskatchewan. It's somewhat crude, but witty and catchy...exactly what I'm looking for in a title. It would be entitled :"Off with their Head: Is it time to abandon the monarchy in Canada?" I could be tarred-and-feathered for this if I write this in a city named after a Queen...

3. I picked up a basketball for the first time in years last week. I'm still deadly from beyond the arc.

4. I've lost my golf swing again.

5. I hate copy-protected CDs. I bought the CD, and I should be able to do whatever I please with it. I'm not buying one for my car and one for my computer. And the record companies wonder why consumers hate them so much...

6. As weird as it feels, I'm going to have to find a Church service on Saturdays. I've missed Sunday service for the last month because of work, and there's no end in sight.

7. Is poker an Olympic sport yet? It's on all the sports channels for some reason...

8. A baseball player for the Colorado Rockies broke his clavicle carrying deer meat this week and is out for the rest of the baseball season. In homage to this bizarre injury, I present to you this top 10 list of the most bizarre injuries in baseball history. Numbers 1 and 2 are priceless!

9. I can't believe I made it to number 9.

An open letter to Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes

Dear Tom and Katie,

Do shut up.

Sincerely,

The inhabitants of Planet Earth who simply want to watch TV, surf the Internet, and read the newspaper in peace, and who would like to find another method beyond the gouging of one's own eyes and ears as a way of not hearing about your relationship anymore.

Foo For Thought

I happened to stumble across a leaked copy of the new Foo Fighters album on the 'Net...and my mouth is agape with wonder at how solid this album is from top to bottom. 2 CDs, half rock, half acoustic, all great. I'm gonna wake up early next Tuesday just to buy it.

Still debating whether or not I should buy Coldplay's new album. I typically like to rock out to my music, but I wonder if this one's worth it as a "change-of-pace" addition to my collection...we shall see...

Haaaaaaapy Anniversary!

I do believe that today (or yesterday...hmmm...I know it's June something) was my 4 year anniversary at Extra Foods. I was so glad that I found this job back then, because it saved me from yet another summer of working outdoors in insanely hot temperatures. I hate hot weather.

So what have I learned about myself, and better yet, others, during my tenure there?

I've learned how to wake up before my alarm goes off.

I've learned how to stand up to an authority figure...and how much of an adrenaline rush that provides.

I've learned restraint with my smart mouth when it comes to dealing with dumb customers...especially when I know they're wrong.

I've learned that a desk job would be ideal for the long term, especially as far as my back is concerned. I truly appreciate a good sit after all the running around I do.

I believe that if you do the work of 3 other departments besides your own (on the account of their laziness and/or incompetence), you should get paid 3 salaries. I get laughed out of the room everytime I mention that, but it's one of the few outlandish statements I make that I'm dead serious about.

I now know to ask someone when they buy a patio set or BBQ if they actually have room in their vehicle to fit it in there. You'd be surprised how many people think they can fit all this stuff in a messy Honda with 2 kids in it.

I learned that the creepy guy in street clothes who looks like he's up to no good, walking around everywhere in the store is not a would-be thief, but rather the loss prevention officer.

I've found that my fellow co-workers like to punch me in the shoulder a lot...which goes to show that I haven't totally fixed that smart-mouth problem of mine just yet.

I've found that the "it's my first day"excuse still works.

I've found that I can get away with chewing gum on the job. Thinking of seeing how long I can get away without shaving.

I've learned that a finalized schedule is merely a prediction of how often you will work.

I've learned that staying an extra hour is often a pain, until you realize what those 11 bucks can buy you.

I've learned that I won't miss the job itself, but I will miss the people I work with.

Oh, and I've learned how to throw a perfect spiral with a 2-litre bottle of pop.

That about covers it.